We’re Drowning in a Tidal Wave From A Bath Tub Splash

I haven’t yet given up on writing here. I’ve been tirelessly trying to gather my thoughts to no real success. I just decided to start typing and maybe, just maybe, things will start flowing. No luck yet.

Let’s talk updates.

I finished hiking all of the Sleeping Giant trails and received my Giant Master patch. Once completing the initial challenge, they send you three more challenges. This all started as an overly complex effort to make a really bad penis joke. Alas, they’ve sucked me in and now I have three more “advanced” hiking challenges at Sleeping Giant. In addition to completing that, I was able to finish the CT Sky’s The Limit Challenge. I think I may take next year off. Once it stops being fun, there’s no point in pushing it. I am seemingly leaning into this whole hiking thing. It’s not something I want to become, but it’s also a hobby that’s cheap and healthy. Plus, there are endless challenges to work towards, which is helping keep me occupied as I find myself wandering aimlessly as I figure out what the next move is.

I suppose that’s the biggest problem right now. To quote Johnny Rotten, “don’t know what I want, but I know how to get it.” I feel I’ve set myself up beautifully for my next chapter is, but I haven’t really figured out what that next chapter is yet. My brain has been chaotic, at best. I’m still making moves to better myself and maybe I need to organize my thoughts and fix any problems I may have before I can start said next chapter. Now that winter is coming, the added seasonal depression is going to make this a bit more difficult, but I’ve made phone calls. Please, I don’t need to know that you’re there for me if I ever need anything. I’m feeling good overall with the person I am, just a little scatterbrained.

The friend department has been interesting, to say the least. I wish I knew I was going to have to step away from the group I once had before deleting social media. Most of them still haven’t even realized that I’ve removed myself, but I suppose that just further cements that it was the right decision. Still, I’ve learned that two things that shouldn’t coexist, can; like the fact that I want to have my turn to tell them they were shitty friends, while at the same time being incredibly pleased that I can just step away drama free. With that said, it has been a blessing in that I’ve reconnected with a handful of friends that I had lost touch or been losing touch with. Unfortunately, without the usage of social media, I’m really just not sure where to find groups of like minded individuals that actually share the same hobbies. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been, at least, considering a return to socials, with strict self-imposed, guidelines, and only been using to join groups to find the above mentioned like-mindedness. For now, I am remaining off.

The problem both in life and with updating a blog about life, is that things have been relatively stagnant lately. Not necessarily in a bad way on paper, but I hate being stagnant.

The NyQuil is beginning to kick in, so I’ll summarize with.. I’ve been really working on figuring out the “why” to all of my thoughts and activities, while simultaneously self-reflecting about who I am and what I want.

I feel close to a breakthrough, whatever that means.

Cheers.