Full Sends

Well, well, well… Look who’s back typing in the blog. Daily, I have a moment of “I need to write that down” or “This is something I need to touch on in a journal entry.” Free time is a thing of the past, however. I bought a journal, I wrote in it once. Man, I was excited. I still am… but it takes time to sit and write. Hell, finding the time to write this post is a miracle. I guess you could say, I’m less stagnant.

A few posts ago, I just kept touching on how stagnant I was and how much it was killing me. Well, after continuing to push, because that’s what I do, I just keep pushing, I was able to secure a higher level position at work. I had to work it for six months or move up again. I became the Foreman in a gang at work, it was quite the large pay increase, but importantly, I knew by securing that job, I wouldn’t then need to take a test for the Inspector position. The job was about an hour away, but in order to beat the traffic and make it on time, I had to leave far earlier and then just take an hour long nap in my car. The position sucked. I hated every facet of it. It was also one and a half to two hours home, every day, in traffic. I learned to disassociate pretty quickly.

Actually, one of the things that helped most was the fact that I knew upon arrival to my town was the new gym I’d signed for. We’ll get back to that shortly. After two months the higher position came up, unfortunately, it was in The Bronx and on first shift. I was so unhappy and knew if I didn’t someone could jump ahead of me and leaving my cushy job would have all been for nothing. So, I bid it, half hoping to not get it, the other half praying I did. After two senior guys failed and one pulled their mid, I got the award.

I’m as high up as I can go in the craft now. I’m fairly out of my depths and IN THE BRONX. Yeah, let me break down my day for you…
I wake up at 4am, get ready and jet out of the door at 4:20am.
I catch a 4:26 train that drops me off in Harlem at 6:35am. I stroll to the other platform where I catch a “dead head” train at 6:52am.
I take the dead head up to an employee stop, cross four live tracks, a parking lot and punch in between 6:59-7:01am.
It’s at this point, I work for eight hours. The commute home is even more brutal.
I punch out at 2:55pm
Race across the parking lot, across a bridge above the tracks, up a block and a half through the worst neighborhood of all of NYC, down the stairs into the Subway tunnels and get to the final set of stairs just as the trains doors open. If I’m lucky, I get that train.
The subway goes up two stops and drops me back in Harlem. Once again, I race up two sets of stairs, down another block and a half, and up the platform to catch the train back to CT at 3:15pm.
The train arrives home at 5:05pm. It’s another 20 minutes drive home.

…Or it would be, if I didn’t join this fancy gym. I workout until about 6:45pm. Head home for 7pm, leaving my just enough time to eat a quick dinner, hop in the shower, and get to bed for 8pm. Rinse&Repeat.

I joined a fancy gym. One of those ones with coaches and personalized workouts. I like it as much as one can like working out. (Which for me, isn’t much). I started there a few months ago and in the first month lost 10lbs, 4% body fat, and am stronger than I’ve ever been. I’ve started using one of those fitness focused kitchens to buy premade meals. Meal prepping just doesn’t work out with my schedule. I also don’t want to eat the same thing on repeat and hate cooking. Between my ordered breakfast meals, lunch and dinner from the above mentioned kitchen and private gym, I am spending a fortune. Investing in my health actually feels like my first good investment in a long time.

I am basically losing money with this job. It’s more hourly, but between time spent commuting and the fact that I can’t really work the overtime and still get enough sleep to survive, I’m at a loss. Still, if there’s one thing I pride myself on, it’s my end game. I need to pass four tests in the next three months and survive this position for six months before trying to get back home to CT. Once that’s done, I’ll have everything I need to have at work to bide my time before moving up nearer the end of my career.

The biggest downfall to this is obviously, I’m losing so much free time. Hours and hours per day. I’d set myself up so beautifully to just do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted, and still make money. Now, I’m not doing either. Still, coming back and reading this blog gave me a perspective check. All I’d complained about was being stagnant and now I’m actively accomplishing goals. I’m not going to pretend things are peachy, I just pray daily that I get bumped (knocked out of the position while still establishing the rights without putting in the six months), though there is very little chance of this happening. The commute is miserable, my body aches, the city is disgusting, I am incredibly unhappy in my day to day life, but the bigger picture is positive.

I’m going to do what I do best, push through. I share my trials and tribulations daily with my “friends,” only to receive no response. I realized a very important point last night though.. When I’m sharing the hell that I’m going through, successfully, it isn’t to show off, it’s to motivate.

If one person sees the terrible schedule, the time sink, the stress, the hell and sees that I’m still finding time to accomplish hiking goals, and gym sessions, and diet, and it motivates them to do one thing to better themselves, then all of the sharing that fell on deaf ears, all of the ignored texts, would be worth it.

I have a lot more topics to cover, but I am out of time for now. Maybe, if I’m lucky, I’ll find some time tomorrow to touch on those items as well. But for now, everything is just…

Full Sends.