A quick entry to gather my thoughts before heading out for New Year’s Eve.
I remember years ago, going to H-World for NYE and thinking how I didn’t understand why, if everyone was so happy with their lives, they needed a night of alcohol and partying to forget, or celebrate the end of, the previous year. Life should be more than survival and everyone I knew seemed to just need an excuse to get fucked up. I was sober back then and couldn’t wrap my head around this concept. No longer sober, I still can’t really. I’m going to partake myself this evening. Going to meet up with some friends, go bar hopping, get drunk and inevitably stupid and regret it all in the morning. I guess the difference is, I’m not even looking forward to it. I’m looking to hanging out with my friends and not laying in my bed like I spend too much time doing, but the boozing, the cramped bars, the stupid drunks.. none of it is appealing to me right now. I’d much prefer a house party where I know everyone and can more safely and responsibly drink, alas there aren’t any this year.
This isn’t some big break through about how I now understand why those people all those years ago acted the way they did. Quite frankly, even though I now participate in the “festivities,” I don’t really understand why. All I can say is, I’m feeling more excited to start fresh at midnight tonight than I have ever before. I guess if I need to break that down any further, it’s just a sure sign that I’m unhappy with the way things currently are… The date is arbitrary, but it is nice starting fresh knowing so many other people are also going to try to better themselves. I hope, this year, I make it longer than the average.
My New Year’s resolutions last year will still apply. I want to create more, I want to get healthier still, and I want to save money. Last year, I kept those three points vague and I was fairly successful. This year, it’s time to apply pressure..
I don’t want to just work out at the gym, I want to crush it. I want to learn to love it. I don’t want to maintain, I want to progress.
I don’t want to just put out a few hiking videos on YouTube, I want to do that and then some. I want to write more, and draw more. Just stay creative.
Finally, I want to make my money work for me. I don’t want to just slowly save money. I want to break into the real estate game. I want to chase dreams. I want to ensure my future is comfortable. I want to do more than maintain.
There are a few smaller things, as well. I want be on time again, I want to continue studying Spanish, I want to continue hiking, I hope to meet someone likeminded, both romantically and platonically. I want to surround myself with people that share my mindset and my drive. I want to cut the ones who don’t out. I am understanding what “Sober Curious” means when I read it on the dating apps. I want to be the best version of myself in every aspect.
I intend to breakdown down my fitness goals, financial goals and creative goals further in other posts, but I wanted to open up this journal with a big ol’ helping of mind vomit. I want to ensure
As of right now, I’m still stuck working in New York City and my days are long and time to seize opportunities is low. It’s an uphill battle right now, but it’s all part of the progression. I need to continue to Stay The Course and apply pressure. Those two phrases will be repeated a lot over the next few months, maybe all twelve of them, maybe forever. For now, I’m going to try to squeeze a good time out of a mediocre plan.
Happy New Year.
Make ‘em Purr.
Life's A Trap 